What’s the Point If Not Trying?

Because your dream deserves at least as much effort as your fallback plan

Lately, this question’s been sitting heavy with me: What’s the point of trying? And I don’t mean it in some Pinterest-quote, “dream big” kind of way. I mean it in the way you do when it’s past midnight, your eyes are sore from too much screen time, and your brain just won’t stop looping the same thoughts. Trying that doesn’t feel brave or admirable, just heavy. A sharp contrast to the version of me that’s usually full of energy and momentum.

I’ve been job hunting. In this market. You probably already know the one. It’s the version of “we’re hiring!” that really means “we’ll ghost you after you spend hours tailoring every word of your cover letter.” It’s sending out application after application, trying to strike the perfect tone, list the right achievements, make it human but polished. And then? Nothing. No email. No feedback. Not even an automated rejection. Just full silence. Like you’re tossing pieces of yourself into an empty void.

And I know I’m not the only one. I’ve had countless conversations with friends who are right there with me, inspiring, smart, talented people. All sitting in that same limbo. It’s become a game of “too qualified?” or “not enough experience?” and then spiral together for a few minutes before turning it into a joke, just to make it bearable. But beneath the laughter, we’re all wondering the same thing: Is it me?

One night, at the end of one of those conversations, I slipped into what I can only describe as self-help mode and said, “You know, it only takes one yes.” And we all nodded. Because it’s true. That one yes could change everything. One yes could crack a window open. Could lighten the load, or give us just enough momentum to believe again. And for a brief moment, we all felt it.

But the second it passed, another thought showed up.

And then what?

From the movie Fruits of Passion (1981)

That question hit hard because I knew the answer already. Even if I get the yes, even if I land the job, the trying doesn’t stop. It just shifts. The pressure keeps building. The hustle continues. The feeling of being slightly off-course stays. Because deep down, I’ve never been drawn to building someone else’s empire. I’ve never wanted to climb a ladder I didn’t lean against the wall myself. And every time I compromise, every time I say yes to something that feels “stable” but not true, I feel it. That subtle betrayal of my own time, my own voice.

So yes, I’ll keep trying. I’ll keep trying for the thing that calls me forward. The work that makes me come alive. And getting there is not going to be glamorous. It’s lonely sometimes. It’s making trade-offs. Missing the dinner invites, skipping the weekend plans, putting your own comfort on the line. Sometimes it feels like burning everything down just so I can start building something real.

And it’s in that middle space between the burning and the building where the question returns.

Why keep trying?

Why does it matter so much to me to keep going?

And every time I ask it, the answer lands the same way.

Trying is the only thing that keeps me connected to who I really am.

There’s always been a thread running through my life. A red line, guiding me forward. I used to see it clearly, practically in front of me. Now? Some days it slips out of view. I catch just the tail of it, flicking around the next corner. But I chase it anyway. Because even when I get lost and often I do, it’s that thread that eventually leads me back to myself.

People say “fall in love with the process” or “enjoy the journey,” but that’s never quite resonated with me. I don’t move for the process. I move for the spark. I follow excitement. That lives in an idea, in the clarity that tells me, this is it. That excitement turns into purpose. And purpose, when it sticks, becomes duty. Not obligation, but calling. The duty to build what I know I was meant to create. That’s what keeps me trying. Catching the end of the thread keeps me showing up, even when it’s hard. Even when I can’t quite explain why.

And I think that’s what trying really is. It’s not about landing the job, hitting the milestone, or crossing the finish line. It’s about staying close to that red thread, to the part of you that refuses to fade. It’s how we stay true. And truth, the kind that lives deep in your chest, takes work. It takes listening. It takes trying.

Because what’s the point of trying without a reason? Without a cause that lights something inside of you? I don’t think anyone’s ever truly tried without one.

And I know that nothing will ever match the feeling I get when I’m chasing that thread. That’s why I keep trying. To say I stayed true to myself. I followed the feeling. I chose myself. I tried again. And again. Not out of desperation, but as an act of devotion. To me.

Because trying isn’t just about moving forward. It’s about remembering who you are, and making damn sure you don’t leave yourself behind.

Note to self - if a job makes you cry before your first day on it, maybe reconsider your choices. And start again.