Craving real social circles in an age of digital isolation? True connection takes quiet courage, an invitation, a presence, a spark. Here’s a guide to effortless gatherings, deep bonds, and bringing people together again.
This was so wholesome to read. I saw today something that say: You want deeper connections? How deep are you willing to go first? 🤍 I think it fits perfect with your letter
It's interesting how we navigate social circles—how we compartmentalise friendships into distinct groups, like work friends, school friends. Why do we put them into these little categories, and why do we feel the need to keep them apart instead of mixing them together more? Lately I've been making an active effort to 'blend' my friends
Yes so true! I feel like it’s easy to intiate friendships based on groups if it builds around interests, but eventually blending them together can be so beautiful and build so many new friendships. I’m right there with you, on a mission to mix things up!
I have always consciously preferred to keep my different social circles separate because I felt that I showed certain parts of myself to people depending on their personalities. I am never 'fake,' but rather inclined to adapt to other people.
I'm talking slight adjustments, especially with topics of conversation (some friends like to exclusively gossip, while with others it is borderline shameful to speak about others, some like to talk about more thought-provoking topics, etc.), or often sense of humour too (I find this is really unique to each person, some friends are sarcastic, some silly, some clever/witty, some are definitely more low-brow lol).
I do have my preferences here; there are certain people with whom I enjoy the parts of me that they evoke more, but all these versions are consistent in that they are me. Yet it would be uncomfortable for me to have to betray either version of myself if I were to blend these different groups.
interesting how we can form such strong friendships with people while knowing that some might not gel well with others. Some of my closest friendships have come from those unexpected dynamics
I’ve been wondering about this compartmentalizing of social groups as well. There can be obvious barriers, like (sometimes) age or language. But other than those discrepancies, I wonder if there’s a sense of shame that people might hold toward certain friendships. I think we all naturally act slightly differently with different folks, so maybe the barrier to blending groups might be a fear of letting others know all parts of ourselves—the fake, the real, and everything in between.
I have always done this! I'm now fortunate enough to have a solid group of people I've sourced from various corners of my life who all love each other too. Chances are if you adore someone, the people you align with will adore them too. I've even help set up multiple successful couples (one married, one engaged and another serious!), not even intentionally, just by bringing good people around each other!
Great ideas! BUT, you have to have friends to host! Many folks, me included, have maybe one friend… or perhaps none. People are truly alone, and hosting tips don’t change that, sadly.
That’s a good point! As someone who’s started over in new cities and had to rebuild my community many times I think I’ll talk about this next, thank you for the inspiration
Loved this! I am always the host, and am sooo grateful when I get to be a guest! Calling in more invites for the spring 💕 One question— who is the artist for the first featured image? Xx
I struggle with this as the person who always has gone first. I started to get canceled on so much that I gave up. I think more than anything, I need to stop trying with the same people and find new connections.
this was everything I needed to read. I'm an immigrant and, even though I'm friendly, it's always hard for me to make new friends. Just recently I moved all on my own for the very first time and I've been feeling lonely. Your essay was not only beautifully written but it made it look easy and simple getting in touch with one another. While reading it I was already coming up with ideas of what to do and who I'd reach out to. Thank you so much for sharing your words.
One brilliant idea I got from someone is instead of feeling you need to cook (and cooking for a large group is so intimidating), pick a place for takeout which someone picks up. Still eat at your home but no stress or cleanup, and more time to just have fun. As a kid, a dinner party at my house always equaled cooking from scratch for everyone - it never would have occurred to me to just pick up some food but it has made it so easy to host dinner parties whenever!
I needed to hear this. I have been trying to force myself to socialize more. It isn't something that comes naturally to me, I desire connection, but dread the 'work' needed to acquire it; this is just the problem, it feels like work to me. I will take the "come as you are policy" with me as a permanent mental note that friendships are not supposed to require performance.
This was so wholesome to read. I saw today something that say: You want deeper connections? How deep are you willing to go first? 🤍 I think it fits perfect with your letter
wow thank you for recommending this <3 I'll search it right away
sorry, I explain myself badly. it was a quote, and when I read your letter, it made me think of it 😊
Aah my bad! I love it, so beautifully put and exactly what’s been on my mind
So so so true.
It's interesting how we navigate social circles—how we compartmentalise friendships into distinct groups, like work friends, school friends. Why do we put them into these little categories, and why do we feel the need to keep them apart instead of mixing them together more? Lately I've been making an active effort to 'blend' my friends
Yes so true! I feel like it’s easy to intiate friendships based on groups if it builds around interests, but eventually blending them together can be so beautiful and build so many new friendships. I’m right there with you, on a mission to mix things up!
Easier said than done though—some are more willing than others :)
I have always consciously preferred to keep my different social circles separate because I felt that I showed certain parts of myself to people depending on their personalities. I am never 'fake,' but rather inclined to adapt to other people.
I'm talking slight adjustments, especially with topics of conversation (some friends like to exclusively gossip, while with others it is borderline shameful to speak about others, some like to talk about more thought-provoking topics, etc.), or often sense of humour too (I find this is really unique to each person, some friends are sarcastic, some silly, some clever/witty, some are definitely more low-brow lol).
I do have my preferences here; there are certain people with whom I enjoy the parts of me that they evoke more, but all these versions are consistent in that they are me. Yet it would be uncomfortable for me to have to betray either version of myself if I were to blend these different groups.
interesting how we can form such strong friendships with people while knowing that some might not gel well with others. Some of my closest friendships have come from those unexpected dynamics
I’ve been wondering about this compartmentalizing of social groups as well. There can be obvious barriers, like (sometimes) age or language. But other than those discrepancies, I wonder if there’s a sense of shame that people might hold toward certain friendships. I think we all naturally act slightly differently with different folks, so maybe the barrier to blending groups might be a fear of letting others know all parts of ourselves—the fake, the real, and everything in between.
I have always done this! I'm now fortunate enough to have a solid group of people I've sourced from various corners of my life who all love each other too. Chances are if you adore someone, the people you align with will adore them too. I've even help set up multiple successful couples (one married, one engaged and another serious!), not even intentionally, just by bringing good people around each other!
Great ideas! BUT, you have to have friends to host! Many folks, me included, have maybe one friend… or perhaps none. People are truly alone, and hosting tips don’t change that, sadly.
That’s a good point! As someone who’s started over in new cities and had to rebuild my community many times I think I’ll talk about this next, thank you for the inspiration
Loved this! I am always the host, and am sooo grateful when I get to be a guest! Calling in more invites for the spring 💕 One question— who is the artist for the first featured image? Xx
I wish I knew! I tried to search for it before publishing, it's stunning
I believe this is the artist!
https://www.instagram.com/eleanorkatie.art/p/DCBqEONtcf2/?igsh=MXM0NnU5YWZxZzl6cA%3D%3D
Aah thank you so much love!
Thank you!! 😊
Thank you for this! Zero-plan cook off is in the calender.
Update me how it went after!
💝♥️
I struggle with this as the person who always has gone first. I started to get canceled on so much that I gave up. I think more than anything, I need to stop trying with the same people and find new connections.
Yess please try again, with new people, new energy, I think it’ll make all the difference
You’ll find your people eventually, with this energy you’ll quickly become someones dream host <3
Beautiful
Love this!
wonderful wonderful writing ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Beautiful read. Really inspiring <3
this was everything I needed to read. I'm an immigrant and, even though I'm friendly, it's always hard for me to make new friends. Just recently I moved all on my own for the very first time and I've been feeling lonely. Your essay was not only beautifully written but it made it look easy and simple getting in touch with one another. While reading it I was already coming up with ideas of what to do and who I'd reach out to. Thank you so much for sharing your words.
One brilliant idea I got from someone is instead of feeling you need to cook (and cooking for a large group is so intimidating), pick a place for takeout which someone picks up. Still eat at your home but no stress or cleanup, and more time to just have fun. As a kid, a dinner party at my house always equaled cooking from scratch for everyone - it never would have occurred to me to just pick up some food but it has made it so easy to host dinner parties whenever!
I needed to hear this. I have been trying to force myself to socialize more. It isn't something that comes naturally to me, I desire connection, but dread the 'work' needed to acquire it; this is just the problem, it feels like work to me. I will take the "come as you are policy" with me as a permanent mental note that friendships are not supposed to require performance.
Love that, it's my favorite policy and the one that makes me feel closest to the people around me <3
This is sooo wholesome, pretty and well-written, its sooo inspiring. Thank youu for writing this 🤍
Thank you for being here beautiful!
I’ve been exploring the idea of friendship vs community and I’m grateful to come across this post ✨
So happy it found its way to you!